Hemingway (v.): Writing a paper under the influence of alcohol, like noted author Ernest Hemingway. Ex: It’s due tomorrow. I totally have to hemingway that term paper tonight.
Foer: A hipster who has became vegan or vegetarian after reading Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Eating Animals.” Like Foer himself, he/she may or may not cheat by eating meat on occasion but will still be sure to inflict guilt on any meat-eaters encountered. Also: foerified (vegetarian-inspired). Ex: I watched “Food Inc.” and thought it was good, but I’m not turning into a foer anytime soon.
Langston Hughes: Small middle school in Northern Virginia. Crazy lunch ladies.
Proust: A rather impressive poke to the upper body.
Shakespeare: A method of torture used by English teachers on their students for their own sick amusement; the cause of a surge of sparknotes.com users.
Bronte: A girl of her own sexiness, her own way in life. Doesn’t care what people think. Very blissful and beautiful.
Tolstoy: To make significantly longer than is necessary to convey the relevant message; derived from Leo Tolstoy, whose classic literature is quite long and wordy Ex: Hey man, I just asked for a light, not your life story. You didn’t have to Tolstoy me.
Dostoyevsky: A favored author of hipsters and other assorted pseudo-intellectuals, most of whom have never actually read a word he wrote (outside of possibly a synopsis from sparknotes.com), but being ever hip as they are, understand how important it is to have the memorization of names of 19th century Russian authors down to a science.
Kerouac: To wander aimlessly for the giddy thrill. Ex: I was bored, so I went on a kerouac.
David Foster Wallace: One of the most intelligent writers who ever lived. Most famous for his novel “Infinite Jest,” which requires a minimum IQ of 131 to decipher.
Eggers: An antagonist. One who often steals golf carts and random cans of soda.